Welcome to Day 2 of our 7-day dreamwork journey.
For most of us, there is a “Self” that watches and participates in our dreams. Our dreaming self performs actions, feels emotions, and engages with other dream characters much as we do in waking life.
This dreamtime version of ourselves has a lot to teach us. We can unlock some of that wisdom by practicing dreamwork skill #2.
Dreamwork Skill #2: Tracking the Dream-Self
Dreams can feel incredibly disorienting and odd due to one interesting trait of our dreaming minds: we tend to process the events of our waking lives while omitting the event itself. Our dreams may rehearse the characters, emotions, and values conflicts of a situation we are dealing with, without ever directly referencing it.
So, how do we figure out what issue our dreams are trying to resolve?
We track the behavior of the dream-self.
What is the “you” of your dream doing? How is she interacting with others? What is his communication style? What emotions are they experiencing?
Notice the dream-self’s behavior and ask yourself: Is this how I am behaving in waking life? If so, where in my life do I behave this way? If not, what can I learn from the way the dream-self is behaving? If the dream-self is acting in a way that embarrasses or confuses me, what might that have to tell me about how I would prefer to act, or how I am limiting my choices?
When you wake with some recall of a dream, write out the actions of the dream-self as though you were watching a silent film. Where in waking life are you engaging in similar actions?
Sometimes, the behavior of our dream-self will reveal our “personal mythologies” . Personal mythologies are strategies we have learned at certain traumatic points in our history that we continue to apply in situations where they are dysfunctional.
Observing the dream-self perform bizarre or embarrassing actions is often a first clue that we are living out a personal mythology rather than behaving rationally in waking life.
Dream Practicum
“In my dream I am walking to the end of a dock. I want to jump in the water and I see that the houses along the dock are all empty. So I start to take off my clothes and hang them on a fence, but just as I am about to dive in I notice a car pulling in to the house where I had placed my clothes. I panic and grab my clothes and run. I tell myself as I walk away that the water probably wouldn’t have felt great anyway, even though I had wanted to jump in more than anything.”
Before you read the section below, pause and imagine that this is your dream. What might the behavior of your dream self be telling you? Is this like you or unlike you? “Borrow” the dream to practice the Dream-Self skill.
In working with this dream, we used dream-skill #1 to notice the emotions in the dream. The feelings of excitement, vulnerability, and disappointment reminded the dreamer of a recent interaction with a friend.
We then played back the behavior of the dream-self as though watching a silent movie. Here is a woman walking toward something she really wants. Now she is looking around, aware of the presence of others. And now she is walking away without having completed her action.
Immediately the dreamer exclaimed “That is just like me, to back away from the thing I most want! And then to pretend that I never really wanted it anyway. Wow, how self-destructive!”
In her further work with this theme, the dreamer decided that this behavior — pretending she did not care about issues that, in fact, were deeply important to her — was costing her heavily and contributing to the decline of her friendship.
By recognizing the behavior in the dream as being self-defeating, the dreamer was able to identify places in her waking life where she was working against her own best interests. She applied this knowledge by speaking directly with her friend, stating decisively what she wanted instead of continuing to pretend she was satisfied with the status quo.
Although this was very difficult for the dreamer, watching her dream-self walk away from that highly-anticipated plunge felt painful enough that, for the first time, she was willing to risk it.
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